


Can't leave

by heydaddy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, idk why i wrote this, this is just a sad fic, unresolved love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6915160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heydaddy/pseuds/heydaddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky remembers, and Steve denies</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't leave

Bucky would never be himself again. Steve knew this. Whenever his eyes darted over to his friends lean form, his own mind would remind himself on this fact. Burning it into his brain, yet not killing the tiny spark of hope that rested in there.   
He knew that Bucky had started to remember. Details were slowly getting back more and more, and it was heart breaking every time Bucky asked if something really had happened. Like if they had actually found that kitten on the sidewalk, that time in the rain, or if it was simply something that Bucky had invented.   
Then one night, Steve woke up to Buckys soft voice. Though it wasn’t soft like it had been. It was rough, no feelings. Cold.   
Steves eyes had creaked open, and his mind had been cloggy, but soon it had adapted to the darkness. He had made out the figure of his best friend, standing beside his bed.

 

“Hey, buddy,” Steves voice were soft, because he always spoke soft to Bucky. Once he had spoken a little bit to harsh to him. The second his voice had been different, he saw the fear cross over Buckys features for a second. Then all the feelings had vanished, gone, like the wind. It had taken weeks for him to start smiling a little bit again.  
No matter what, it was not normal procedure for Bucky to wake Steve up during the middle of the night for no reason. When he did it was usually because of some kind of crisis, and the words which left Buckys mouth now surprised Steve.

 

“Were we lovers?”  
Steve stared at him for a few seconds, feeling dread overwhelm him. He had been waiting for this, trying to deny it, even though he knew it was coming.  
“No,” his reply were short, but not rude. It was just a simple answer.  
“Why? Because the more I remember, the more it feels like that was the ca-“  
Steve cut him off.  
“That is because that was how you felt. Not me. I’m sorry, Buck, go back to sleep.”

 

Bucky didn’t say anything. Neither did he the next day, or the day after that. The third day, he was gone.   
Steve just wished everything would go back to how it was.   
They had just been friends. Nothing more, nothing less. This was how Steve had felt, how his relationship with Bucky had been. But he had always had the suspicion coiling in his gut, telling him the truth. The truth that Bucky didn’t just see him as a friend, but as a potential lover. 

 

The avengers asked him where Bucky had went. Natasha wasn’t shy about it, and pressed him for information, which he did not give. Tony was mad with worry for what could happen, with the winter soldier on the lose, without any watch over him. In the beginning Sam had tried to figure out what had happened, but resigned to not knowing.

 

Bucky came back after two months. He had cut his hair, was respectable, but did not say much. Everyone went into an uproar when he came back, but his help was very much appreciated. The questions rose; why had he gone? Where had he gone? And why had he decided to come back now?   
Steve didn’t know the answer to the second one, but he knew to the first and third. Because he could relate to his childhood friend. Just as he knew he couldn’t be with Peggy, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to see her. No, not wanting, needing to see her.  
And it was the same with Bucky.


End file.
